This week I also learned of another couple that has lost their precious baby girl. Please keep them in your prayers. My friend Rachel called me with the news on Tuesday night. Rachel also lost her first born, Lila, about five years ago. She has become a dear friend, and I'm so thankful to have her guidance and support. The couple going through this is her friend's step brother. Since their loss is more similar to my loss, Rachel called to ask for any information or advice she could pass along. I was glad to be in a position to help, but it also stirred up some distinct memories of our time in the hospital. Memories that I don't delve into and explore on a daily basis. I cried about that. I cried because I just hate that they're going through this painful process. I cried because I know the hospital and delivery is only the beginning of a very long journey. I cried because I'm thankful and relieved I'm not where they're at, all the way at square one. It just dawned on me though, that part of me wishes I was there becaue I was so close to Jacob. Oh, what a jumbled mess of emotions this can be
If I'm following the time line correctly, labor was induced Wednesday night and she didn't deliver until sometime this morning. Today is Saturday. I repeat people....today is Saturday. Bless her heart. Due to the baby's condition, the nurses advised that they not see her. I had so hoped they would get to see her. Most of mine and Rachel's suggestions and advice centered around seeing and spending time with her. I encouraged them to bring special clothes to dress her in, to hold her and spend all the time they could with her, and to take all the pictures they could.
I never thought I would look back on Jacob's brith and feel fortunate in any way, but I do. I was in labor for twenty hours instead of days. I not only got to see him, but I got to hold him. No words can express how thankful I am for that time with him and for those pictures. I'm so thankful I know he has my lips and nose, and his daddy's cheek bones. I'm so thankful the nurses took pictures of him and that we did too, even if all we had were our phones. It was one of those simple pictures taken by the nurses that allowed us to get this amazing portrait done.
This is such a treasure to us. The artist who did it is Portraits by Dana. I so appreciate her service. She captured Jacob beautifully and was wonderful and easy to work with.
Soooo, in conclusion, this week was unavoidable and I'm relieved to have it behind me. It's been tiring and distracting. I feel like it's knocked me off center a bit. I'm okay, but I'm eager to direct my focus back to things that affect me in a more positive way.